Monday, September 14, 2015

Patience without Words


While working at Wells Fargo in the spring of 2006, things in life were going more smoothly. It had been almost an entire year since the last heart surgery and the leg was doing much better since the repair surgery just a week after getting married (that's for another post).
The use of the vocal cord had come back and though it hurt quite often, it was a huge blessing to be able to speak again. Coming into the branch, a young man in his early twenties accompanied by his father approached my teller counter. He was there to make a transaction and the nervousness in his eyes shone in the lack of confidence of his stance. My heart immediately softened toward him.
A long line formed quickly, only a few of us open on the teller line.
The young man didn't speak, he looked to his father for help, and the man quickly took over. We completed the transaction and the line continued to move through.
It wasn't much later that the young man came to the branch again, a few weeks maybe. This time he waited in the long line for his turn. He ended up before me once again, this time alone. More people gathered to make deposits and withdrawals (most people aren't very happy when it comes to money, UNLESS it involves getting more of it!).
The young man scanned the counter and didn't see what he was looking for.
"You need to withdraw or deposit?" I asked.
He shook his head and took a moment to think. Then he used his fingers to mime holding a pen and writing. I thought it odd that he wasn't using his words. "Here you are." With a quick flick of the wrist he began to write what he needed help with. It's been so long and I can't remember what we discussed but I do recall that it took some time working with him. He wrote a few words, turned the paper to me, then I relayed the answer by talking.
He tried to say a few words and they were unintelligible, almost when someone that is deaf tries to speak. However, he was not deaf. He could hear just fine. He was a mute.
We were low on tellers due to lunch break, and most people waiting in line began to moan and groan. A passive-agressive way of saying, 'This is really annoying that this man is taking so much of my time'.
The look on the young man's face was slight embarrassment for the hassle everyone was making of his lengthy transaction, yet there was a glimmer of gratitude in his eyes as we continued to write back and forth. I made sure to smile big and reassure him through each step.
My tears were in the corners of my eyes, my heart aching for this young man. Here I was just almost a year ago unable to speak, worried that I may never have full use of my voice ever again, the frustrations of that situation embedded in my memory - and across from me this man would never be able to speak. I wanted to reach over the counter and hug him. I didn't, and maybe I should have. It's hard to say if it would have been a strange gesture or not for him.
What I also thought was that those standing in line could use a little empathy, compassion and patience. Is this life about hurrying through day-to-day, shoving aside another person that needs our love and understanding? Is it about moaning and groaning in the face of someone's challenge because it is inconveniencing us?
What is this life about? How many people on a day-to-day basis do we interact with and how do we treat and respond to them? Some people are rude ALL the time, some people are SELFISH and INCONSIDERATE. And that is unfortunate for them. Their entire life they will rarely ever FEEL the immense joy of what happens when a moment is taken with a stranger to help them feel safe, accepted and loved. To moan and groan at someone else's challenge because it inconveniences us is purely selfish.
There is more I will share on this subject in a future post because I was once in his position, unable to speak. I never imagined that people could be so horrible, inconsiderate and rude straight to my face for a hardship that I NEVER asked for. In a way it helped me grow a backbone and realize that I could either listen to what they had to say or I could discard it. Many times I had to make a choice: be offended or not be offended.
This young man who was so kind-hearted, touched my heart and uplifted me! He was a blessing to me that day. We interacted several times, he always waited for my teller window and he always greeted me with a smile. Many times I think back to those moments and wonder how he is doing and hope that he is being shown kindness.
Take a moment over the next few days and really pause and listen to the tone of voice and words that are used with those you love, are acquainted with, and even strangers.

No comments:

Post a Comment