5th Open Heart Surgery Part II

Once the heart surgery was on the schedule, the months leading up were a blur. My parents and I met with the cardiac surgeon to review the surgery and the prep that would go in to it. Hearing the details of being placed on a heart and lung machine, the sternum cut open to reveal the heart, and the possibility of a lot of scar tissue to work through brought anxiety and stress, more than imagined.
Just that December upon hearing the news was the same time I got engaged to be married. We had hoped to marry in the spring, but due to the valve replacement, delayed the wedding until mid-July to allow time for proper recovery.
About a week or so prior to the surgery date, my dad and I went in to the hospital to do pre-op. Radiology techs took images of the heart, drew blood, took vitals and in the midst of all this I remember laying on the hospital bed and unable to hold back tears from the fear of the unknown. All the surgeries for my heart were so long ago that I couldn't remember what the recovery was like. On the bed I cried, the nurse walked in and saw how upset this nineteen-year-old girl was and brought back a teddy bear. They give those normally to children, and in that moment I felt like a child. My dad reached over to hold my hand and gave it a squeeze as I hugged Mr. Teddy. They nurse smiled and rubbed my shoulder, "You nervous?" I nodded in reply, for it was all I could muster.
"It will be wonderful. Dr. Teodori is the best. He is such a phenomenal surgeon. You're in great hands."
Yes, my heart would literally be IN his hands, and I knew that he was absolutely incredible. God blessed me with an amazing, capable surgeon.

The night before surgery my anxiety hit the ceiling, my nerves a fire with the possibilities of complications, painful recovery and hoping that I would wake up from the surgery. At that time my father and uncle gave me a priesthood blessing to calm and give me encouragement and hope that this surgery would have the necessary outcome for a healthy life post surgery. They blessed the surgeon that his hands would be capable and skilled. With this blessing, just like the many others, my fears left and a feeling of peace and love filled my body and soul. All would be well.

We awoke early to arrive to the hospital around five in the morning, fiance and parents in tow. We checked in, were admitted to the hospital and into a room. An I.V. was placed, oxygen tubes inserted into my nose and my heart rate began to climb from anxiety. The nurse came and gave me a relaxant medication and instantly I smiled, felt all the fear float away.

Then the time came for them to wheel me back. My parents and fiance walked back to the double doors, then were told they couldn't go any further. I waved goodbye and watched their faces disappear behind the doors. The hallway didn't seem too long, most likely due to the happy, carefree mood the medication put me in.

Soon I heard the beeping of machines as cords were hooked to monitors. I asked if they could put the arterial line in after I was asleep as I knew this would be quite painful. They obliged my request. In a matter of seconds a mask was put over my face, well wishes given from the nurses and then I began to count...10...9...8...7...